In between the take time; make time; make nice; play nice - far and few between,
There's the day's end; week end; weekend; you again - over and over again.
After the good advice; tried it twice; need a vice - just to make it work,
Once again we'll take a break; movie date; re-examine fate - and try to make it work.
And I'll put down my book; take a look and hope that you'll see me,
Taking for granted our every day, and every way I've tried to say,
I miss each kiss like the first one when I used to rub your head...
I miss each word you lingered on like a lifeline from the dead.
I miss each moment like a long awaited vacation - exciting and new
I miss each feeling deep within, each time you say "I love you."
I miss the way I mattered - my thoughts and hopes and goals
I miss the chance just with a glance to know your very soul
The everyday, now so mundane, I never hear my name
And through it all, I hope to fall and be enthralled with our always and the same
So once again I take the time; make time; make nice; play nice each day and in between
Hoping that by day's end, week end or the weekend, my heart will again be seen.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Asking For Care
How do you ask a husband to care, to show concern and empathy?
How do you ask him to ask you how you are, and to spend some time listening?
How do you ask a toddler to love you, to not be mean - mean only to you?
How do you ask the world to give you a break, just for a little while?
How do you ask a husband to see you, to hear you, to know you, to matter?
How do you ask a toddler to cherish you, to trust you, to like you, to listen?
How do you ask the world to help you, support you, to give you dreams come true?
How do you ask a husband to care? How do you ask a toddler to care? How do you ask the world to care? Or to be there, or to share, or to be fair?
It's not fair that I feel the need to ask for a husband, a toddler and the world to care. They can't hear, but I'm asking for care.
How do you ask him to ask you how you are, and to spend some time listening?
How do you ask a toddler to love you, to not be mean - mean only to you?
How do you ask the world to give you a break, just for a little while?
How do you ask a husband to see you, to hear you, to know you, to matter?
How do you ask a toddler to cherish you, to trust you, to like you, to listen?
How do you ask the world to help you, support you, to give you dreams come true?
How do you ask a husband to care? How do you ask a toddler to care? How do you ask the world to care? Or to be there, or to share, or to be fair?
It's not fair that I feel the need to ask for a husband, a toddler and the world to care. They can't hear, but I'm asking for care.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Something & nothing changes
How does something and nothing change?
An apology can hit deep. The right apology even deeper.
Something changed, it's true. And yet nothing did too.
How can an apology make a difference and also none at all? How can you hear all the things your heart was screaming for, and still feel like screaming?
Those wonderful, deeply needed words of sincerity, encouragement, support, praise and apology fell on a heart still raw from screaming.
I was surprised he thought of them all on his own. I have been surprised that he hadn't said them all along. I was pleased when he realized an apology was needed, disappointed they were needed at all.
Thank you. How could you? It's something, it's nothing. Sweet bittersweet.
An apology can hit deep. The right apology even deeper.
Something changed, it's true. And yet nothing did too.
How can an apology make a difference and also none at all? How can you hear all the things your heart was screaming for, and still feel like screaming?
Those wonderful, deeply needed words of sincerity, encouragement, support, praise and apology fell on a heart still raw from screaming.
I was surprised he thought of them all on his own. I have been surprised that he hadn't said them all along. I was pleased when he realized an apology was needed, disappointed they were needed at all.
Thank you. How could you? It's something, it's nothing. Sweet bittersweet.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Vent
or Rant...
hubby, toddler, mommy dearest - I am an island alone - wife, mom & daughter.
I am tired. I am done. The barrage was overwhelming.
Yesterday.
Hubby picked an unprovoked provocation...
Toddler's tirade was truly tyrannical... toward me.
Mother's disappointment was as undeniable as her denial.
Today, I am done.
No apology from hubby can give it to me...
No loving hug from toddler can give it to me.
No supportive word from Mother can give it to me.
I must find, keep and nurture my own confidence.
A confident wife. A confident Mom. A confident daughter.
Whether they like it or not. I am an island unto myself. Feeling quite alone.
Today I am done trying to be anything other than me.
hubby, toddler, mommy dearest - I am an island alone - wife, mom & daughter.
I am tired. I am done. The barrage was overwhelming.
Yesterday.
Hubby picked an unprovoked provocation...
Toddler's tirade was truly tyrannical... toward me.
Mother's disappointment was as undeniable as her denial.
Today, I am done.
No apology from hubby can give it to me...
No loving hug from toddler can give it to me.
No supportive word from Mother can give it to me.
I must find, keep and nurture my own confidence.
A confident wife. A confident Mom. A confident daughter.
Whether they like it or not. I am an island unto myself. Feeling quite alone.
Today I am done trying to be anything other than me.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Dangerously Divine!
The new Domestic Diva!
It's time to put aside the differences that separate us. Whether we work at home or stay at home or work outside the home - aren't we all working? Working hard to be the best Mom and Wife possible?
That is the basic criteria for today's Domestic Diva. Many of us are now older first time Moms, but there are a lot of younger, married, mature Moms coming up too. A new crop of Divas who do the best they can for their house, family, hubby and kid(s) and don't forget yourself!
Sometimes circumstances dictate that your best means a high-powered career. Sometimes my best means a hugely busy schedule running "Mom's Taxi" to sporting events, dance class, the laundry, the grocery and the vet.
Either way - or anything in-between if you see a Domestic Diva today one thing will be for sure - she loves her family, enjoys being a Mom, has a good and faithful, loving husband and genuinely cherishes her life and all her blessings enough to celebrate and encourage other Divas - no matter which definition of divine the declare!
We are NO DRAMA DIVAS!
Gossipping? Nope, not for me.
Backstabbing? What the heck for?
Criticizing? I do not have the time!
Jealousy? Oh, please!
We are DANGEROUSLY DREAMY, DELICIOUS, DELIGHTFUL AND DOWNRIGHT DIVINE!
Supportive, encouraging, helpful, sincere, honest, friendly, accepting and devoted. Sounds like boy scouts? Oh, yeah... thrifty, brave and true, too!
We are DOMESTIC DIVAS!
We take care of self, love ourselves and hold ourselves in high-regard
We have a healthy self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-image, self-esteem, self-worth and self-pride
We come in all races, ages and body types
We may all have different religious beliefs but are tolerant and accepting of others
We are committed to celebrated eachother and all our dreams and goals no matter how different than our own.
We are doing the very best we can, no matter what our best may be.
BE ON THE TEAM - DOMESTIC DIVAS UNITE - POST YOUR OWN DIVINE THOUGHTS AND ENCOURAGEMENTS
http://www.mommyshappyhelpers.com for the Domestic Diva website, currently being filled with tips, resources, advice, crafts, recipes, articles and more.
It's time to put aside the differences that separate us. Whether we work at home or stay at home or work outside the home - aren't we all working? Working hard to be the best Mom and Wife possible?
That is the basic criteria for today's Domestic Diva. Many of us are now older first time Moms, but there are a lot of younger, married, mature Moms coming up too. A new crop of Divas who do the best they can for their house, family, hubby and kid(s) and don't forget yourself!
Sometimes circumstances dictate that your best means a high-powered career. Sometimes my best means a hugely busy schedule running "Mom's Taxi" to sporting events, dance class, the laundry, the grocery and the vet.
Either way - or anything in-between if you see a Domestic Diva today one thing will be for sure - she loves her family, enjoys being a Mom, has a good and faithful, loving husband and genuinely cherishes her life and all her blessings enough to celebrate and encourage other Divas - no matter which definition of divine the declare!
We are NO DRAMA DIVAS!
Gossipping? Nope, not for me.
Backstabbing? What the heck for?
Criticizing? I do not have the time!
Jealousy? Oh, please!
We are DANGEROUSLY DREAMY, DELICIOUS, DELIGHTFUL AND DOWNRIGHT DIVINE!
Supportive, encouraging, helpful, sincere, honest, friendly, accepting and devoted. Sounds like boy scouts? Oh, yeah... thrifty, brave and true, too!
We are DOMESTIC DIVAS!
We take care of self, love ourselves and hold ourselves in high-regard
We have a healthy self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-image, self-esteem, self-worth and self-pride
We come in all races, ages and body types
We may all have different religious beliefs but are tolerant and accepting of others
We are committed to celebrated eachother and all our dreams and goals no matter how different than our own.
We are doing the very best we can, no matter what our best may be.
BE ON THE TEAM - DOMESTIC DIVAS UNITE - POST YOUR OWN DIVINE THOUGHTS AND ENCOURAGEMENTS
http://www.mommyshappyhelpers.com for the Domestic Diva website, currently being filled with tips, resources, advice, crafts, recipes, articles and more.
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