Discipline

How is it that a cute, smart, adorable, blessing of a 2 year old (almost 3) can drive you crazy, make you mad and push you to the limits of your control - over and over?

I refuse to be "that Mom." But I refuse to have "that kid."

Discipline at this age.

I'm sure it's more for me than it is for him. But when he's 12 it will be too late to figure it out then!

So... I will not give in. He will not win!

And I will not lose... myself.

Almost Over!

One and a half months. The trust fund will be gone!

Ok, it was never a trust fund! Instead, it was a blessing - a remarkable blessing as a result of the normal tragedies of life.

And so when I joke and say the "trust fund" is almost gone, I cannot say in turn, that the blessings are almost gone. Because the truth is, more blessings are about to come!

It has been one long year full of trials and struggles and hardships, worries and concerns - even a few fears.

But now it seems, in 2 weeks to 2 months time, the money issues will be resolved, the sale of property will finally be done and over (1 year escrow!!), and our beautiful dream house will finally be "affordable."

Yeah! I'm hanging in there.

Life, job & money

Soon the time is coming when I will no longer be able to live like a kept woman; a trust fund baby. The trust fund is quickly running out.

And the goal; the plan has always been to build up my businesses and compensate for how much of the money I'd been spending on necessities each month.

And, at only being able to afford 3 full days a week of toddler school, I've still been working like a full time job, at hobby pay. Ok, no pay.

How it has happened this way, I cannot say. Each new success, is a tiny, painful step on the rung of a ladder with the rungs way, way too far apart.

But there have been successes! And so, I cannot quit, cannot give up hope, will not give up the faith, my faith that it will work out. It has to. I have no other options before me.

And so, if there are any Moms out there reading in the Burbank area, come check out a free demo class of Baby Signs (r) for 3 year olds and under. Get more info at www.mommyshappyhelpers.com.

Otherwise, pray for me.

Or consider a birthday party for your child - I've developed new packages and will be updating information on this site soon: www.jubilationparties.com

Otherwise, please just continue to pray for me!

So Life is good...

So, it's amazing what a few days can do.

I feel we've all calmed down. The potty usage is consistent, the routine of life is consistent and discipline... well...

I felt like I was just getting too angry. I was too frustrated. So, I used my husband as an example and calmed down. And I became quieter and more consistent with my discipline. Well, as every child will - the J-man decided to meet me at my new level and challenge it.

He flat out, big and bold - hurt our feelings. Yelling, screaming, spitting - the usual untolerated fare... and then told us he didn't like us. That's new... not entirely unexpected, but certainly not this soon. J-man, that's not nice, you apologize, you hurt mommy and daddy's feelings. He refused to apologize and that's what hurt! He's never not apologized before!

And oh was he a new kind of stubborn. And darn right mean. And I cried. And he didn't care. We certainly weren't going to discipline him into apologizing for hurting our feelings, but he did have to acknowledge as always that the spitting and screaming was unacceptable.

And then here comes the husband, "well I think he just feels like he didn't do anything wrong." Ok, that's acceptable for a teenager but not a toddler. That's how he'll learn some empathy by teaching him now, if he hurts someone's feelings, then you show them you care about them by apologizing. Am I right or am I right? I'm right.

Well, it took all day, but when I finally picked up the j-man from toddler school, he apologized. And, he apologized to his dad without being prompted also. Yeah! I mean, I was really, really hurt. And scared. What if he hadn't learned that lesson?

I am now positive that sympathy and empathy must be watched carefully. It will determine how he treats his teachers, and authority, and small animals and women... After all, I'm not just trying to raise a good boy, or a good man - my goal is to raise a good HUSBAND. That way, even if he doesn't want to get married, he'll still be a great guy!

My Review of On the Go Potty Liners (10 pack)

Originally submitted at One Step Ahead

On the Go Potty Liners (10 pack)

Decent Travel Potty

By Dez from Sylmar, CA on 10/13/2007

 

4out of 5

Pros: Lightweight, Easily Stowed, Easily Cleaned, Great for standing up, Easy Setup

Cons: Hurts to sit on

Best Uses: Boys

Describe Yourself: First Time Parent

It's great for the car - we call it the "pull-over potty". He asks to use it but only standing up. Which is great. He won't sit on it to go #2. It hurts his bottom and is not comfortable. He is 3. It has been a lifesaver for #1, once we figured out to lift it up to his body.

(legalese)

The Best Day Ever!

Hip, Hip Hooray - it's a great day!!

My son went peep on the potty!!

Now listen, at 2 1/2 that may not be significant for most moms. For others it is short of a miracle. My son and I are on the miracle side - and not because he's only 2 1/2, but because he'd actually been almost potty-trained and then he stopped, refused to sit on the potty and was happy in a funky pull-up!

• At 15 months he began announcing when he was about to make "leakies" or "stinkies" (his choice of words, not ours!)
• At 16 months he was curious about my hubby and I sitting on the toilet. He wanted to know how to flush and what the toilet paper was. (I began tying the roll with a ribbon so he could no longer yank it all into the toilet and flush while it was still attached.)
• At 17 months I bought a potty training book for me, one for him and his very own potty that looks like a real toilet. He played with it, sat on it (fully clothed) and let "Elephant" make stinkies in it.
• At 18 months I moved the potty from the play room, into the bathroom and showed my son what it felt like to sit on it with no diaper on. Then we got up and learned how to wash our hands. (We only told him "one day" when you're ready you'll make leakies and stinkies in the potty.)
• At 19 months his God-mother who has 3 nearly grown children reminded me that fully potty trained meant my son would be able to get up in the middle of the night, go potty and go back to bed - by himself - unless I wanted to be wiping his cute little tushy at all hours of the night. His tushy ain't that cute. We stopped all potty encouragements. (All the professional surveys indicated he was ready, but I was not!)
• At 20 months I bought a FABULOUS book "Potty Train your Child in 1-day" (Free plug!) and decided that when my son turned 2 we would give him big-boy underpants and change his crib to a "big-boy" bed with all new "big-boy" sheets. And, since the book suggested not to train after a traumatic event, I decided to train him before our traumatic event (we were looking to buy a house), and then make the new bathroom a part of his "follow up training."
• At 23 months, just when we'd entered escrow, I picked a day and we had our potty training day. It was about a 75% success. We even had a party and invited all the adult friends who would appreciate and support his new efforts (the even brought gifts!) We now only really had to work on timing in that month before the move - or so I thought - to minimize making leakies on the floor, or my leg... At the end of that month, (before his birthday), we moved into our new house.
• At 24 months he got his big-boy underwear (and had accidents every time he wore them - still that timing thing), and his big-boy bed (never ever fell out once!), and he got settled into his new room with all his belongings which finally made him realize, this change was permanent and not a vacation. My son takes 2 months to adjust to any change!! He stopped asking to sit on the potty (but I still took him in a timely manner).
• At 25 months (after Christmas), his toddler school moved him up to the next aged classroom. Another huge change in his little life. He refused to sit on the potty at all.
• At 27 months we began again. We bought a second potty for the downstairs bathroom. I bought training pants and those training pull-ups that are supposed to get cold or something, I don't know. Once again, it was all about the timing, but at least he was trying again.
• At 28 months, out of the blue one day, he again refused to sit on the potty. But this time he was adamant, scared almost - screaming and dragging his feet - tears welling in his eyes the closer he got to the potty.
• At 30 months we finally got it out of him what was going on. He'd had a dream that monsters had come out of the potty and bitten him on his "bum-bum" (no, we are not English!) I'd asked him what the monsters looked like because this was his first ever mention of monsters. He told me they looked like giraffes. He told us he was not sitting on the potty. He liked his pull-ups. We assured him there was no such thing and nothing like that would happen. We even sat on the potties and the toilets to prove it. He wasn't convinced.
• He is now 32 months old. We had tried bribing him with an out of reach gift (he found it and broke and showed it to me asking - "Is this my gift for going potty?"). We tried decorating the potties with all his favorite stickers. (He now has pulled them off to decorate the shower). We tried new videos (he memorized all the songs). We tried new books (he read them over and over). We tried new, can't wear yet Thomas the Tank Engine underpants. (He couldn't have cared less). Every suggestion anyone ever gave us, believe me, we tried it and he refused it. We even tried to spray the potties with Monster Spray. He informed us there was no such thing.

All of the grandparents have promised the boy surprises, treats and gifts - to buy him anything he wants when he uses the potty. He has picked out several things, including a lollipop, a plastic owl (like the ones at Mimi & Poppi's house - no we are not Latino), and a long list of Thomas trains; but he has, up until now, ignored the part about using the potty in order to get any of these things.

Today, after nap and a terribly leakie pull-up, I cleaned him up and left him naked to play in his room. Sure enough, I noticed him doing the pee-pee dance. "Let's sit on the potty," I suggested. No way. Finally he begged me for a pull-up. I told him he could have it after he sat on the potty. He danced, he ran, he tried to distract himself. He pinched, he crossed his legs and he demanded a pull-up. And when I saw that first trickle I snatched him up and sat him on the toilet (his choice, believe it or not). He tried to snatch back the trickle of "peep" (again, his word, not ours). He tried to get off the toilet. He tried to demand I take him off the toilet. I comforted him, soothed him, told him to just relax and let it come and assured him he would like it soooo much better if he'd just let the peep come out. Every little trickle he sucked back into his body and wrestled to get off that potty.

My husband shut us all in the bathroom and we waited it out - playing in the water in the sink (on purpose, of course!) And when he started the pee-pee dance pinch again, I put him right back on the toilet and he struggled and snatched his peep back in his body every time. 5 times we did this dance in the 1st session this evening, but pee-pee came out every time!!

Yeah!! We were ALL so happy! We danced, we made up big-boy now pee-pee songs. We called Gramps and Granma (no we aren't White either! Hahahah!), we celebrated and had a good time and he finally got to wear his celebratory Thomas underpants. We took pictures. Boy did he look good! Suddenly, he did not want to wet his underpants and started the pee-pee dance again.

This time the toilet struggle lasted only for 3 rounds - but he peeped every time! And I asked him, "doesn't it feel good?" Yup, he agreed it was better than a pull-up. "Why are you still scared?" He didn't know why. "Aren't you glad you're going in the toilet?" Yep, and he was glad to be wearing his underpants too. "So if you know there's nothing to be afraid of, aren't you going to want to sit on the potty with no struggle next time?" Yep, he thought he would be able to do that. Well, at least that's what he told us.

It was dinner time and my hubby went out to "run errands" (he actually went to buy the first of what will surely be many, congratulatory gifts). My big-boy was content to sit in his big-boy chair (a booster seat) in just his big-boy underpants. He drank 3 cups of water even though I warned him it would make the pee-pee come. At the end the meal he was shaking his feet and moaning. Finally he begged me for a pull-up and I snatched him out of the big-boy chair and took him to the potty.

The struggle was only 2 rounds this time, but he was much more adamant because we were on the downstairs toilet (new environment!) Because of his struggle he peeped all over me and the front of the toilet - but he didn't get off of it, and he let himself finish! Woo-hoo! (Never mind the fact that he still complained!)

Fast forward to bedtime, I'm putting on his pajamas and stalling before putting on a nighttime pull-up. Sure enough he's pee-pee dancing and begging for the pull up again. We run to the bathroom (he actually runs on his own this time and I am encouraged). But alas, he struggles and changes his mind trying to get off the toilet and still asking for a pull up just as the peep comes. Some gets on his leg and the front of the toilet, but he settles down, lets the rest of it come, smiles, and proceeds to let off a rapid succession of "rootie-toot-pooties" (Yup, that's what we call them!) He laughed, asked, "what's that sound?" And amazingly, let off some more.

Happily, he got off the toilet, we high-fived and I finally put him in a nighttime pull up and kissed him off to bed.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday. When he wakes up, the first thing he will see will be the brand new "Cranky the Crane Set (from the Thomas trains) that my hubby bought him. And, we will start anew.

Miraculous, don't you think?

Been there, done that, now what?

In between the take time; make time; make nice; play nice - far and few between,
There's the day's end; week end; weekend; you again - over and over again.

After the good advice; tried it twice; need a vice - just to make it work,
Once again we'll take a break; movie date; re-examine fate - and try to make it work.

And I'll put down my book; take a look and hope that you'll see me,
Taking for granted our every day, and every way I've tried to say,

I miss each kiss like the first one when I used to rub your head...
I miss each word you lingered on like a lifeline from the dead.

I miss each moment like a long awaited vacation - exciting and new
I miss each feeling deep within, each time you say "I love you."

I miss the way I mattered - my thoughts and hopes and goals
I miss the chance just with a glance to know your very soul

The everyday, now so mundane, I never hear my name
And through it all, I hope to fall and be enthralled with our always and the same

So once again I take the time; make time; make nice; play nice each day and in between
Hoping that by day's end, week end or the weekend, my heart will again be seen.